FRANCOM, Farrel Jay: Memoirs of Helen Tillotson: Francom Family Genealogy

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FRANCOM, Farrel Jay: Memoirs of Helen Tillotson

Handwritten original in possession of J.F. Typed 22 Nov 2005 by J.F.

19 Nov 2003

Dear Jeff,

Did I hear from Daren that you were compiling some bits and pieces of stories about Farrel – things that others had commented on? That is a great idea. Perhaps I could jot down a few memories you might add to them. You have heard a few humorous things as he interacted with associates. If there is room for a few serious thoughts, perhaps I could contribute.

In Toppenish, Washington, he was made branch president at age 28 when Steven was a baby. In Ellensburg and Moses Lake he was in bishoprics. Moses Lake days Sacrament meetings started at 7:00 p.m. and had to last 1½ hour. Bishop Emron Wright was a stickler for that. Farrel did a lot of traveling between counseling farmers and checking on beet pies, etc. As he traveled from place to place, he would put together talks in his mind. When and if the time was not filled, Bishop Wright would announce, “We’ll now hear a few words from Brother Francom.” He always carried a note card in his pocket with some ideas if he were called upon. As I remember, it happened quite frequently. He was always prepared—a good minuteman.

First thing Sunday mornings he would study the Sunday school lesson and the priesthood lesson. Loved to participate in class.

I think Farrel felt like a father figure to those young field men, most of whom he hired right out of college. One of them had a son marry a Brigham City girl. Farrel was so happy to spend time with him; he stood right in the line and visited during pauses. He had a great relationship with all of them. There were occasional dinners where wives were invited.

As he got older, Farrel had a difficult time staying awake in Sacrament meetings; he was always alert in class where he could interact. The occasion was either Easter or Mother’s Day. The Sunday school superintendent announced Farrel Francom would talk on ______. He was asleep. We nudged him on either side to tell him what the subject was. He went right up to the stand and gave his talk without apology or hesitation. After the meeting, he commented to the superintendent, “I thought it was customary to ask the person to talk before he had to give it.” Brother Hunsaker said, “Didn’t we let you know?” So surprised he was!

On our last visit to Moses Lake, Farrel wanted to visit the 4th ward, especially to see Ramina Jorgensen, who was the young women’s president in the stake. Farrel was high councilman over the young women. Sitting in the back, we could not see her. We were looking for a red head. I finally spotted her on the opposite side, but her hair was now white. Just as I was pointing her out to Farrel, they announced from the stand that Brother Francom was in the audience and asked for a few words. He stood and said, “Just a moment, there is something I must do first.” Farrel walked over behind Ramina and gave her a hug. It was a touching moment. She hadn’t seen him either. It brought tears to my eyes. That Sunday we were able to visit three wards and see some old friends.

He had such touching moments as he visited his mother, Grandma Francom, in the nursing home (died 97 years). She couldn’t see or hear, yet when he would press his cheek against hers and sing softly in her ear, she could follow along singing alto and he the melody. They harmonized beautifully, the hymns.

He did the same thing with an elderly bedridden, but very sharp convert member in Scotland. She was the only member on the island; sent her tithing and the eight dollars a month she made kitting two sweaters to the mission home. A company furnished the materials. The money was to help support a missionary. Her schedule was to read a chapter in the Book of Mormon and a chapter in the bible each day. The ensign was the dessert, saved for Sunday. Her name: Margaret Hamblin. In the same way, he taught her the hymn, “As I Have Loved You, Love One Another.” She also was hard of hearing. The next visit he gave her a hymnbook so she could start her day with a song. She did look forward to her “Great Day” when she could meet with lots of Saints in the Spirit World. A letter was waiting for us when we got home; said she would meet us in heaven.

On one visit to Moses Lake, Farrel borrowed a wig from our neighbor, Skeet Trask. He donned some old clothes, put on an accent and went to see his old boss, the plant manager, Charlie Edwards. Told him, in broken English, that he had a message from his old friend, Billy Cockade. His wife was able to recognize Farrel, but she played along. Charlie was stumped. Farrel couldn’t be serious for long without laughing.

One evening, my first year of teaching, Farrel had some work to do at the factory. It was report card time and I wanted to look over the student’s workbooks before grading. He dropped me off at the school, which was on his way to the mill. He didn’t come back for me. No way would I go outside. There were no houses, just a park and the road to the factory. How would I sleep that night? Push the desk together and lie on top? In the meantime, Farrel had fallen asleep on the couch. When he finally went into bed, he realized where he had left me!

Oh, but he was a good man! In courting days he and his friend Elliot Rich were a barrel of laughs – kept us laughing all the time. I think their humor fed off each other.

I first met Farrel in an 8:00 a.m. history class winter quarter at Utah State. Farrel sat on the front row. My roommate and I sat on the back row (the only girls in the class). Farrel raised his hand a lot and participated. I thought he was the best looking boy in the class. He had just returned from his mission. We dated all spring quarter after which he marched off to the marines. On his first furlough, he came home with a ring! Also, as a commissioned officer – a 2nd lieutenant.

At school he called me “Red”. I was not red red – just auburn that had some red in it. From the service he sent a letter telling me he had met a cute red headed girl. She was making a trip my way and she would call on me. He played it up for awhile. When she came, it was a card on which was a girl with a red ponytail – real tresses.

One nice thing I remember, when the children were younger, I always knew when he was coming home. He would come up the walk whistling. It was a happy moment for all when that door opened!

Farrel would often take us swimming in “Goose Lake” which had a sand dune behind. This day we had gone in our swim suits, no change of clothes. He accidentally threw in the keys as he threw in the inner tube. After diving under many times, he couldn’t come up with them. No other car ever came by to help. I couldn’t imagine walking to the highway in swimsuits for help. Innovative man as he was, he cross-wired the car and got it going. Like the time we went camping and did not have the tent stakes with us. He still found a way to put up that tent.

Remember the good old days when you could just go off the side of a road, build a little fire and roast hot dogs and marshmallows? How about the time we got a late start from home and pulled off the road. It was too dark to make camp. We just found a grassy spot and laid out the sleeping bags. We were awakened early surrounded by a bunch of curious cows, standing in a circle staring down at us.

Farrel was fun and informative to travel with – interested in everything. While I watched the road, he would be looking around, explaining the geology of the area, etc.

As I write a few things, other memories flood my mind. Didn’t we have a fun-loving dad and grandpa though? He loved all of you dearly. I know he will make the celestial kingdom. His integrity and morals were almost impeccable. I can’t imagine an eternity without him. Faith and Repentance will get us there. The Savior through the atonement has made it possible. We are not perfect. Remember, it is never too late to repent. Thank goodness for the principle of forgiveness also. This is the time to prepare to meet God. Time spent in this life is just a speck compared to eternity. It is important what we do here. We want to be with our Farrel again!

In old age Farrel was diagnosed with “sleep apnea”. His deep sleep was being interrupted. He wore an apparatus over his nose that enabled him to get deep sleep.

Farrel was a “people person.” He loved even going to the grocery store where he could see people and perhaps crack a joke and get a smile out of someone. He didn’t even mind standing in line. When one lady exclaimed “Oh dear!” he would come back with “Do you mean me?”

Just after he died I went to the bank to see what money was in the checking account. The banker asked, “Who was your husband?” “Oh, he is the reason we got the water cooler!” The manager became very helpful and friendly to me. Even asked, “Who wrote the obituary?” (Daren’s Chris critiqued it after we wrote it.) He told me to bring my puppy in so he could see her. I could tell he thought a lot of Farrel.

Farrel made friends easily; was comfortable around everyone and anywhere. If he had to criticize he usually did it in such a way that one would not take offense. Perhaps in a joking way. He would ask me, “Couldn’t you find a better way to say that?”

When visiting children’s wards, he would go right up and sing in their choirs. In Thurso Scotland we lived in a flat above the town square. Occasionally we would be at home when carolers would come to sing during Christmas holiday. Farrel would go downstairs to sing with them. They would pass him the music.

What a great man he was for us to try to emulate!

--Helen, age 82

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